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General infertility

6 1/2 Years Later

I wanted to refer back to my post from 2/17/14, entitled "A View From the Other Side." Again, not to boast or brag about my daughter in any way. Merely to point out how the fertility challenges we all faced, or are facing now, never really go away. However your journey ends, this experience somehow weaves its way into your life now, however many years after the fact. I have come to accept it as sort of an old friend at this point. Without the years of struggles and pain, I never would have gotten to this point.

Why Can't We Have Another Baby?

There is so much emphasis on having a first child, that no one really talks much about the ones that follow. What if you had the easiest time conceiving, carrying & having your first child? What if you thought conceiving, carrying & having a second or third child would be just as easy as the first? What if you were wrong?

The term is called "secondary infertility." And, apparently, it is a common problem. Often times, people who have a relatively easy time having their first child, now run into challenges trying for additional children.

A View From the Other Side

On a personal note, my husband & I spent 6 long, daunting, scary, devastating, and exhausting years trying to have my daughter. Our miracle baby is now 4 years old and is the absolute joy of our lives. I say this, not to throw salt in an already painful wound for those of you visiting this blog, but because I had a profound thought the other day, which made me so sad, all these years later.

My daughter is still 2 YEARS away from how long it took for us to have her. The past 4 years have flown by, no doubt.

"Test Tube Generation:The Fertility Lie for Women"

Here's a recent article from Tricia Romano of The Daily Beast on the myths about women getting pregnant later in life. Some interesting information. Check it out.

TIP OF THE DAY: You Can't Force a Baby on Your Partner

I know, it sounds so simple. But if you think about the fact that each of you came together from 2 totally different backgrounds, upbringings, history, family values, dynamics, religions (even if the same), and more. It's a wonder how couples get along under normal circumstances!
 
Now factor in the topic of having a baby into the equation. If you're a couple who has no problem, congratulations. If you are not, chances are you have different opinions about how to go down the daunting road of infertility.

Is Your Fertility Showing? Wear It Proudly...You're Not Alone

Why does one of the most painful processes in life have to also have a stigma attached to it as well? As if anyone ASKED for it. As if anyone WANTED to go through it. As if anyone wouldn't give a limb to NOT have to deal with it (ok, maybe that's a bit dramatic...but you know what I mean).
 
Anyone dealing with infertility most likely knows what I'm talking about when I mention "the stigma." That 'yeesh'expression people have on their face when learning that you're struggling with having a child on your own.

When To Call It Quits

So, you've been diagnosed with infertility, which suddenly feels like a blow to your gut. What do you mean I can't get pregnant, on my own, right away? Maybe your fertility treatments start off slowly with ovulation predictor kits and temperature charting. Or perhaps you kick it up a notch & your reproductive endocrinologist recommends intrauterine insemination (IUI) treatments. Maybe you're including injectable and/or oral medications. You might have moved on to IVF as well.

Do You Need a Moat or a Life Boat?

A moat, per Dictionary.com, is a deep, wide trench, usually filled with water, surrounding the rampart of a fortified place, as a town or a castle.
 
Some people, when going through infertility, need to seclude themselves while undergoing their journey to parenthood. These are the people who will only share information as they feel others in their life need to know. So, they create an emotional "moat" as they undergo their treatments. This oftentimes doesn't bode well with the people being shut out, but it is not your responsibility to make them comfortable.

Infertility Counseling

So you begin the journey of infertility. No matter which direction you are heading towards, whether you are undergoing IUI, fertility drugs, sperm/egg donors, IVF, blood issues, ovulation issues, PCOS, etc., chances are you are dealing with an insane amount of stress that you never expected, nor know how to handle, in many cases.
 
In every day life, people have their beliefs about psychotherapy. Maybe you are all for it, but maybe you're not. No judgments either way, but in this bubble of life called infertility, I pose the option of seeking counseling as a necessary life raft to help you navigate your path towards parenthood.

TIP OF THE DAY: Get Ahead of the Paperwork!!

It sounds so simple to say, but getting ahead of all of the paperwork involved in infertility treatments - no matter what path you take towards parenthood - is a great way to beat some of the stress.
 
I used to say, "If I see one more clipboard, I'm going to scream!!" Every time I did another IUI or IVF cycle, or had any sort of test or procedure, there was always a bundle of new paperwork to fill out. What a waste of paper, when you think about it. I mean, why can't they just use the same information from a previous cycle?
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6 1/2 Years Later
Why Can't We Have Another Baby?
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A View From the Other Side
"Test Tube Generation:The Fertility Lie for Women"

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